You are the surprise homepage of my heart and half of my brain. I used to be cleverer but now I'm wise to the spies and the rain. The only sedentary part of me is my body. Let your eyes explain. I used to love sunset but now I prefer sunrise. I can't complain, but I don't forget that my future will always be foggy. Almost every verse I've written since I met you has a secret refrain. You're that secret refrain. I never got to ask you if you know who you are, but I know who you are because you are the secret refrain to most of my verses.

 

 

 

I could talk about how I feel about you for years, but I expect my friends are getting bored of hearing that crap. None of them have ever even met you. Circumstances get strange and sometimes shit happens. You're the secret refrain to almost every verse I've written since I met you. You might be other things as well but people can be more than one thing at a time, right? 

 

As a vaguely handsome schizophrenic, partially disabled introvert loner and mathematically-minded brain damaged genius, society hasn't always treated me with the dignity and respect that every being deserves. I've been arrested three times for breaking the somewhat victim less drug laws and I've been locked in mental hospitals for 4 years of my life because some people thought I was a little weird. As a matter of fact, I was a little brain damaged and a little traumatised. I would never rape anyone, I would never kill anyone, and I would never steal from anyone except for those who can afford it and if I am truly struggling with life.  Nowadays it's a well documented fact that I can be 'mentally unwell' and at times must be kept away from 'the public'.

 

 

 

For example, the last time I got arrested was for walking around my neighbourhood naked because I felt like having a once in a lifetime experience. I spent 4 months in mental hospital following the arrest.​

 

 

 

Jesus! I am a Christian. I used to study the bible? Is it illegal or insane to be a Christian? Here's my understanding of the bible.  Apparently, God created the world and the garden of Eden was paradise for a man and a woman. Then Satan - who is apparently the bad guy - did some 'bad' voodoo and they realised that all of them was exposed (they were naked, in other words). This realisation led to 'original sin'. Maybe I am missing something or misread the text, but one point has never been properly explained to me: why aren't all Christians naked now?​ You could argue that we live in the era of the new testament now., but I believe Eden is the paradise we are on the brink of destroying. So why aren't we naked?

Why not pretend the world has just begun? Are people afraid of dying? In all honesty, once you rid yourself of your ego, you rid yourself of the fear of death. My mum died when I was 16. I didn't want her to die particularly but I didn't want her to live a miserable existence due to the pain that her cancer caused. Me? I nearly died when I was 19. I jumped off a bridge. I reached a state of nirvana. Nirvana is a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.

You are being fooled. There is no eternity. Eternity implies a time frame. There is no time. There is just life. To quote one of my heroes, Bob Dylan, "stick with me, baby, stick with me anyhow - things are going to start to get interesting right about now".

 

​​I'm a dude who drinks funky spirits when thirsty for taboo. I'm a truly nude junkie on an epic quest that involves you. I’m curious as Casanova and perhaps as beautiful as my cat. When Corona is over and I'm famous, you'll realise that. I’m a servant to the monarchy and an angel-headed trickster. I became a shop-lifter at five but my soul was born a drifter. I'll fantasise about you forever, which is as long as I've been alive. I plan to finish my poem about your earlobes by the time I'm 35.

 

​You know what?

 

​This next bit is for someone special. This next bit was written for everyone else to hear, but I am addressing someone special.

 

​I wanted to feel you dance with my existence for hours on end within about ten seconds of meeting you. You made me feel special. You made me care. You made me a person. I can't thank you enough. You're the secret refrain to almost every verse I've written since I met you. This secret refrain helps my brain sing my soul. You are my secret refrain.

 

 

 

​Every God damned being is special. Didn't they teach you that in school?